Look at her (Audio)

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there is a girl
with an entire universe
collapsing behind her ribs

and nobody knows

because she laughs loudly
because she shows up
because she learned that people
only ask if you’re okay
when you look like you aren’t

but she has mastered
the art of disappearing
while standing right in front of you

she has stitched herself together
with invisible thread
held her own hand through nights
that felt endless
and survived battles
she never had the words to explain

they call her strong

they don’t know
strength was never the dream

the dream was to be held
without having to fall apart first

the dream was to be loved
before she became a lesson
in survival

but still

look at her

still breathing
still becoming
still carrying a heart
that the world tried
so hard to turn to stone

29 thoughts on “Look at her (Audio)”

  4. The last precept from the movie “Wonder” was “Be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. And if you really want to see what people are, all you have to do is look.”
    Yes, being kind when the world tried to make you bitter and cold is no less than an absolute triumph.
    And despite how brave or peaceful our outward projection, the second half of this precept is no less true.
    However, the fact that you are looked at, but not seen is no less than an absolute tragedy.
    “The dream was to be held without having to fall apart” Harrowing. Profound and harrowing.
    But the last stanza, particularly the lines “still carrying a heart that the world tried so hard to turn to stone” it is the number one reason to love you. All of you. Unedited. Memorized. Remembering. Behind My Eyes. Storms. Still Becoming. Between the Lines. Unhidden. and yes, especially The Girl Before Me.
    All of you. You are seen. And you are loved. Sincerely.

    Reply

    • Thank you doesn’t feel like enough for a comment like this.

      That line, “The dream was to be held without having to fall apart,” came from a deeply honest place. It’s less about romance than it is about the human desire to be fully seen, fully known, and still gently held. The fact that you recognized that means more to me than I can express.

      Also, something I’ve carried for a long time: that strange paradox of being visible but not truly seen. So many of us become good at surviving while quietly hoping someone will notice what we’re carrying without us having to break open first. Thank you for understanding that.

      To know that the heart I worked so hard to keep soft, despite everything that tried to harden it, is all the more reason to be loved- wow, that’s beautiful. Thank you for reading with such love and for reminding me that sharing these pieces of myself is worth the risk.

      Also, thank you for recognizing ALL of me. ALL

      Unedited. Memorized. Remembering. Behind My Eyes. Storms. Still Becoming. Between the Lines. Unhidden. and yes, especially The Girl Before Me.

      Reply

  6. What I really loved the most about this one was the ending! To me, this had such a quiet sense of healthy anger with such an inspirational overtone behind it. Am I correct in that assessment? And yes of course, I, like many others, think that the flow was really good here too! I love how much your talent just keeps expanding more and more! And like c’mon, we need even more of these audios thank you very much! Don’t fucking stop with these gems! 💕👏🏻

    Reply

  10. Jenn..this one got me.

    I think the line that stayed with me most was, “The dream was to be held without having to fall apart first.” I don’t know if people realize how true that is for so many of us. Sometimes we’re so good at carrying everything that the world assumes we don’t need anyone to help.

    Thank you for writing the things so many people feel but can’t find the words for. Your writing has a way of making people feel seen, and that’s such a rare gift.

    For what it’s worth, I hope you’re held in all the ways you write about. Not because you’ve reached a breaking point, but simply because you deserve to be loved and cared for exactly as you are.

    Love you, friend. 🤍

    Reply

    • THIS!!! “I don’t know if people realize how true that is for so many of us. Sometimes we’re so good at carrying everything that the world assumes we don’t need anyone to help.” This is exactly it and YOU are one of the few that get it, truly get it. I know there are so many that can’t put what they are feeling into words, I get it and I try and speak not only for myself, but for all those others too.

      I do deserve to be loved, cared for and seen exactly as I am. I will never settle for anything less than that now. Nor should you, Queen.

      Love you girl 🤍

      Reply

      • I do get it. Absolutely. I also think that we carry the world on our shoulders alone because we think there’s no other choice but we need others, even when it’s hard to admit that. Lean on me. I’ve got you. That’s what I tell everyone I love. I LOVE you, friend!!! 🤍

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