From a distance

I grew up learning how to disappear
without ever leaving the room
to speak softly or not at all
because silence never got punished

I measured my worth
in how little space I could take
how quickly I could read a face
and change mine to match

love was something I watched
from a distance
other people’s warmth
like windows lit from the inside
on streets I was never invited to walk

I learned to soothe myself
deep breaths in dark rooms
whispers like you’re okay
even when I wasn’t sure
I believed it

and still
there’s a part of me that waits
that wonders if maybe
someone someday
will look at me like 
I was never hard to love
like I was always
meant to be seen



13 thoughts on “From a distance

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